>Ships in the night

16 Mar

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While pregnant, my husband and I were advised to squeeze in as many dates as humanly possible before the birth of our son and to do everything we can to keep the love alive before contempt sets in!!! So, taking the advice into consideration we decided that the Ocean Basket Soul Matter platter for two, with a side salad of course, would be part of our monthly dinner and movie date prior to catching the latest movie on circuit at the time. I can picture my favorite spot in the restaurant right now and can literally smell the the butter garlic permeating the air…. Okay, back to the story.
Since the birth of my beautiful, bouncing baby boy, hubby and I have probably been existing in two very different worlds while living in the same house, as many parents do hence the phrase, passing like two ships in the night. Our first date as new parents was to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and my mother generously offered to babysit for three hours while we got some QT. Samuel was a month old at the time and this was one of the most nerve-wrecking moments for me. Would he be okay? Would my mother know how to soothe him? Would she know what his cues are and would I be okay leaving him for what seemed like forever?! We decided to go to a place close to home and en route, there was a deadly silence that was so strange for us! You must understand that being a childless married couple meant that we could spend hours (mostly on my part) conversing about politics, the current economic climate, our jobs or just have very deep philosophical debates about life in general!!! And now here we were without a word to say. This lasted as long as the trip to dinner and hubby (poor thing) was just so happy to be with just me while I on the other hand, could only think about my baby and muster everything in me to keep my focus on the task at hand: enjoying an evening out with the other love of my life. Once we get to the restaurant, which you must remember is only ten minutes away from my home, the urge was just too much and I had to call my mother to see how they were doing to which she obviously replied that they were all okay and doing just fine without my interference.
The meal was an eat as much as you like seafood extravaganza AND it was a wine tasting evening but much to my dismay, I could only indulge in ONE whole glass because I was breast feeding. Talk about being stuffed to the max! New moms rarely get a chance to eat as much as they want and have the added luxury of warm food at the same time – but that’s a blog for another day! Half an hour into the meal and the urge was too strong to ignore to which the reply was the same, a resounding we are fine. Hubby at this stage had loads to say about his days activities, what was the latest news broadcast, the up and coming plans for the weekend and I could barely muster up a sentence that didn’t involve something about: sleep (or lack thereof), poop or Samuel’s daily activities. Another half hour later and I just had to call! This time my mother politely and in no uncertain terms told me not to call again unless I’m about to die, she has things under control, after all, she raised my brother and I and we turned out pretty fine so a few hours without me would not be detrimental to his well being!!! I finally got the message and started to relax, enjoy the evening and stop clock-watching only to realize that it was already time to go home.
So… three months later and I’m now starting to feel a little like my old self again. Nails are getting done, hair is getting done (most of the time and yes, a wet look does count, can I get an Amen somebody) and I love wearing a pair of heels again because my feet have finally returned to their pre-pregnancy proportions, whoo hoo, Halle Berry watch out. And all this means that I’m also looking forward to dating my husband again!!!
Last night, we attended a midweek service at church while my mom babysat and although it was two hours spent away from Samuel, boy was I looking forward to just being alone with my man even if it was at church. This time around I was the one who had something short of verbal diarrhea and at least it had nothing to do with our baby. After a while though, I paused to realize that he hadn’t said a word! When I looked over at him, he looked exhausted from a long day at work and the timing just wasn’t right.
All in all, though our lives have been changed more than we could have ever imagined, we feel stretched to our limits most times and are finding our feet in our roles as parents, I’m willing to be that soon enough we’ll be able to take time out and be on the same page let alone the same library! Making time for each other is something I realize is paramount to the survival of the species, while I would die for my son, my husband is the other person responsible for creating this little life with me so in essence, let our ships/worlds collide and let the sparks fly!
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