Bite me

3 Jun

Oh my goodness, I don’t know how much more of this I can take!!!! Just imagine having a stiletto heel squeezing your nipple against the floor!!! I lost my breath, nearly cried like a baby and frantically searched for the little tooth mark.
Going from being THE pacifier to teething toy has been an exquisitely painful process for my poor nipples. If during his feed he makes a chanting sound, my stomach instantly knots up and I break out in a sweat knowing that the little tooth will be used a weapon at any second.
I sadly have to admit that out of shock on one occasion, my knee-jerk reaction was to smack him so hard that his bottom lip started to quiver…. And then the creature proceeded to laugh at me!!! Definitely not on boy. It was then that all thoughts of continued breast feeding were instantly replaced with bottles of formula. Does the World Health Organisation realise that by the recommended age of two, the guilty party would have a mouthful of teeth by then?! I’m convinced it must be run by a man.
I’ve heard women say they’ve forged ahead with their nipples barely intact due to repeated offences and others say their reaction was scary enough that the offender had no choice but to cease and desist.
If all else fails then at least I found some use for those blessed nipple shields; I used to think they were a lost cause but I’ll be damned if I have to endure another puncture wound to my boob!!! Those come attached you know!

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