Birth Order Of Childern

25 Aug

Lately I have thought about how I’ll manage IF or WHEN I have another child – it’s a huge debate in my house at the moment until this came along in an email and I just couldn’t help myself.

This is definitely worth sharing or the good chuckle you will have – for those of you with more than one child, I’ll bet you can identify.

Clothing:

1st baby: you begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as you ob/gyn confirms your pregnancy

2nd baby: you wear regular clothes for as long as possible

3rd baby: your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes

Preparing for birth:

1st baby: you practice your breathing religiously

2nd baby: you don’t bother because you remember the last time, breathing didn’t do a thing!

3rd baby: ask for an epidural in your 8th month

The Layette:

1st baby: you pre-wash newborn clothes, color co-ordinate them and fold them neatly in the baby’s cupboard

2nd baby: you check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains

3rd baby: boys wear pink, can’t they?

Worries:

1st baby: at the first sign of distress, a whimper, a frown, you pick the baby up

2nd baby: you pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn

3rd baby: you teach the three-year old how to rewind the mechanical swing

Pacifier:

1st baby: if the pacifier fell on the floor, you put it away until you go home and wash it AND boil it

2nd baby: when it falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle

3rd baby: you wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back it

Diapering:

1st baby: you change it every hour, whether they need it or not

2nd baby: you change it every 2-3 hours, if needed

3rd baby: you try to change it before others start to complain about the smell or you see it hanging to their knees

Activities:

1st baby: you take your baby to the baby gymnastics, baby swing, baby zoo, baby movies and baby story hour

2nd baby: you take your baby to baby gymnastics

3rd baby: you take your baby to the dry cleaners and the supermarket

Going Out:

1st baby: the first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times….

2nd baby: just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached

3rd baby: you leave instructions to call only if the sitter sees blood

At Home:

1st baby: you spend a good part of every day just  gazing at the baby

2nd baby: you spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking or hitting the baby

3rd baby: you spend a bit of every day hiding from the children

Swallowing Coins:

1st baby: you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays

2nd baby: you carefully watch for the coin to pass

3rd baby: you deduct it from its allowance

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2 Responses to “Birth Order Of Childern”

  1. Lora Claggett September 22, 2011 at 12:16 am #

    Wow! Thank you! I always needed to write on my blog something like that. Can I implement a portion of your post to my website?

    Like

    • Corinne September 25, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

      Hi Lora… you’re more than welcome to use a portion on your site.

      Like

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