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Today, I graduate.

30 Mar

I am a bunch of mixed emotions and excitement is not one of them. You see, this is not the first time I’ve graduated because I have a previous degree and my first graduation ceremony felt like an anticlimax. I suppose the universities have to go through the formality of it for their students but 2 hours pale immensely when compared to the 3 years of sacrifice it took to get here. My husband of all people would have an inkling as to what has been required but even he really has no idea. Extra lessons during the week and on Sunday’s, missed parties, leaving family lunches early and emotions I feel where no words could ever suffice! Being a mature student has had its pros and cons but I won’t go into that now, what I will say however is how grateful I am to have completed this undergrad in the allotted time. Many of my fellow students have taken longer than I have with less than half the life commitments I’ve had to shoulder. 

I owe a huge thanks to my parents who have gone above and beyond for me, they are truly a God-send. No words are enough except to say a VERY BIG thank you and I love you both. My husband has been a soldier in the trenches of life with me and my biggest cheerleader – the yin to my yang andmy light when there where many dark days. Thank you my love.

While I feel like I am not where my life “should” be due to the fact that two major dreams are yet to be fulfilled, I have to remind myself that life happens in the here and now. No amount of comparison could make me happy, ever. I’m cognizant that today is the symbol of a small stepping stone for which I am to be grateful, it is this little milestone that has moved me that one step closer to my hopes and dreams becoming a reality. And I should definitely be proud of me – young, black, educated, full of potential and with a world of opportunities awaiting me. 

So to you reading this: never stop dreaming and never stop believing! Today is a manifestation of yesterday’s hopes, dreams and what you believe to be true.

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Thursday’s Thoughts

31 Oct

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I needed to remind myself of this today

1 Oct

I’ve been pretty quiet lately because varsity is getting so hectic with end-of-term tests leading up to final exams which start in three weeks time!!!! My stress levels have soared. I’ve got really, really good marks for some subjects and failing tests for others so I’ve been really worried about how I’ll make it to write my 2nd year final exams. You will understand from my earlier posts that I take my studies seriously, I have some wild aspirations and I just honestly do not have the luxury of time to fail. Time is ticking! I need to pass, graduate and join the workforce and I have put myself under a lot of pressure. Not to mention that I suffered my first migraine ever!!! My dad suffers from that and you cannot begin to understand the excruciating torture it is until you’ve had one – especially when all you have is Pandos to take for it – not funny at all!!!

All in all, Lester and I decided to do the Nike 10K 2013 this month and with the way I’ve felt (miff and all), I just wanted to go for a run. But more importantly, I had to get back to remembering the basics: I have a privileged life, I am blessed beyond measure and that in the end, it is all going to work out awesomely for my GOOD! It’s about remembering to be grateful for the little things and that I still have a fighting chance – the fat lady has not sung YET! It’s not the end of me! I’m a hard-worker and life really does go on!!!

So here’s a little something I found and I hope it encourages you…

 

Riding the Gautrain

5 Sep

I recently decided to take a trip on the Gautrain for a second time to see if it could become a part of commuting between Johannesburg and the outer universe in which I live. You see, it takes me an average of fifty minutes to an hour each time I have to travel to varsity or home. At this point in time I don’t really mind that much because I get to listen to Talk 702 and enjoy listening to the commentary on news worthy topics and that replaces the time I used to spend sitting in my garage before I headed indoors for Shift 2. Driving for that amount of time is not so bad because the traffic is moving on the freeway even if it is at 30 kilometers per hour but that’s because the rainy season hasn’t started and if you live in Joburg, you can expect robots to be out when the rains come!
Back to the story. The main reason for taking the train over two days was because we were leaving for Durban on the Friday and I didn’t want to drive an hour in, write my test, drive an hour back home and then hit the road.
So on Thursday, after my classes I went to sit at the bus stop on campus and pretty much asked the first person I saw how the bus circuits and schedules worked and how I could get to the Gautrain at Park Station. The first young lady had no idea what I was talking about let alone willing to help but the girl sitting next to her could have been an angel for all I know, she was so incredibly helpful. She (whose name I cannot recall) explained where the nearest residence to Park Station was for me to get a bus to and where the actual schedule was to know which bus I should get on to. Se also remarked how she could tell that this was my first time taking public transport, to which I blushed. She was right! Truth be told, my parents never really allowed nor forbid me to take public transport, I never really needed to. They were happy to take me where ever I wanted to go until I could drive and I was what you would call a “goodie-two-shoes” or in my books a “from the farm”. Let me quickly explain. I lived in a little town in Kwazulu-Natal called Eshowe, it had 2 main roads, 5 robots, 1 shopping mall and you pretty much knew EVERYONE in town who wasn’t related to you. In the middle of high school, my family moved to the big city (back then) Durban. When my friends wanted to go to the Workshop for an actual movie vs going to the matinĂ©e we took a Patco bus but mostly, my mother dropped us off and picked us up because she had fairly flexible working hours. And even when I was allowed to have a boyfriend, my dad would take us to the malls. When I now look back, that could have been so embarrassing except that I knew where they were coming from and honestly just wanted me to be safe. It was a wonderful and sheltered upbringing for which I make no apologies, if I had a daughter, I can bet you now I’d be the same.
So again, back at the varsity bus stop. The bus taking us to the res finally arrives and we get on and continue chatting. We discovered that we actually have similar life experiences so it was really nice to reassure this young lady that her life decisions weren’t crazy but did also require some serious consideration in the long run. Knowing how somewhat nervous I was about walking in town alone she offered to walk me to the Gautrain Station that was passed her place of accommodation and told me how to handle myself in the streets so that I’d be fine. She really was a sweetheart.
Once at the Station I went to buy a card and load it so that I could travel the following day as well. The train arrived within four minutes and seventeen minutes later I was ready to picked up. On the Friday (the next day we were to travel) I researched the Train times as well as the Gautrain and Wits bus routes to plan my trip and downloaded the Gautrain app to keep me in the loop, I felt so clever. Sadly though I did take me about an hour or so to get to varsity which included a ten minute walk through town to get to varsity.
Needles to say, Riding the Gautrain was an incredible experience for someone who has never been abroad to places that have the subway. It’s really 1st class since I have no concept of what world class is. There security is visible and very helpful, not once did I feel unsafe. The facility is clean and tidy. It’s definitely a consideration for maybe a once a week trip which would be all the more enticing if they had wireless access down in those tunnels but hey, having some “offline” time is not a bad thing as well. If you haven’t been on the train, I highly suggest you do even if its just for the hell of it, it’s not that costly at all.

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He’s ALL around

23 May

Economics II has been the bane of my existence from last year already. I really enjoy the subject but clearly does not feel the same about me. Know I understand that the “system” is designed that not everyone passes and all that but what I have truly come to understand is how powerful our words actually are. You know how you hear something and say (in your head): “that sounds true, yeah sure” and then one day it clicks and your heart goes: “know that you KNOW, watch what you say!”

Back to Economics II, for a while now all I’ve been saying and honestly meaning is that I JUST want to pass but when I got my year mark today and saw that I DID JUST pass, I was honestly disappointed! What I want is to pass REALLY WELL. Becoming an Economist means that I need to know my beans and if I want a great company to hire me, then I have to show what I’ve “achieved” in the starting blocks. I do understand that a degree is not the be all and end all, I’ve had many a conversation about this with friends.

The point of my little story today is that after all my stress and studying, I barely made my year-mark which enables me to write the exam! Barely, by-the-skin-of-my-teeth!!! When I left the notice board, it was not a pretty sight. I got into my car, put my iPod on and set the Gospel playlist to randomly select songs for some encouragement. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw the title of the song: “I know that You are for me” by Kari Jobe. People! God is everywhere! And He’s there for us even when we don’t expect it.

The words are so beautifully written. “I know that you are for me. I know that you are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness and I know that You have come down, even if to write upon my heart, to remind me of who you are.”

Take heart, no matter where you’re at, declare the brightness of your future BOLDLY and watch God step alongside you to see it fulfilled.

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