Tag Archives: women

Something to think about

12 Mar

Here’s something to think about today:

Don’t Look down at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in an income based housing, struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, money alone doesn’t make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn’t keep you satisfied, beauty doesn’t make you any less insecure, fame doesn’t make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn’t keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely. 

You don’t know how the woman sitting right next to you could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher to whom you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day at her job and have no idea how she’s going to survive past next weekend. 

The woman at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to commit suicide tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think. 

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I’m not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony, but I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don’t know what past or current hurts and pains have shaped her into who she is today. 

We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend a 1/3 of the time building someone up instead of tearing each other down, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save someone’s life. 

PLEASE don’t be the straw that breaks another woman’s back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayer. I hope that you read this and get something out of it other than a laugh and that you pass this on to as many women as you can to let someone know that you believe they are somebody special and that if need be you are available to listen. Sometimes that is all one needs, someone to listen. 

This comes from an email that I received from a very good friend of mine and I really think its worth sharing. I take no credit for this  but I do hope that it does more than tug at your heart strings – I still maintain, that it takes a village to raise a mother!

Have a nice day!

Real women have curves in my opinion….

10 Feb

And not having curves DOES NOT make you any less of a women! In the society we live in, size definitely matters! How and why that came about, began a long time ago. There was a time where voluptuous women were envied for their curves and yet in the 21st century the picture has completely changed. I was pleasantly surprised when I walked past a magazine stand and on a recent issue of HEAT magazine they were showing pictures of female celebs who were rounder, sporting wobbly looking tummies and chunkier arms to boot. It was so refreshing and the titles included quotes like: “I eat everything”, “I will never be thin again” and “food doesn’t define me”. WOW! Maybe the tide is changing and we really go back to what is real and what we know to be true!

Research now reveals, according to msnbc.com. that watching a curvaceous woman can feel like a reward in the brain of men, much as drinking alcohol or taking drugs might.  Each society develops a general perception of what an ideal female body shape would be like. These ideals are generally reflected in the art and literature produced by or for society, as well as in films and magazines.
The ideal or preferred female body size and shape has varied over time and continues to vary among cultures;but a preference for a small waist has remained fairly constant throughout history. A high waist-hip ratio has often been seen as a sign of good health and reproductive potential (yay for me) . A low waist-hip ratio has also often been regarded as an indicator of attractiveness of a woman, but recent research suggests that attractiveness is more correlated to body mass index than waist-hip ratio, contrary to previous belief (oops).

Notwithstanding wide cultural differences, researchers have confirmed that the waist-hip ratio (WHR) for a female very strongly correlates to the perception of attractiveness across all cultures. Women with a 0.7 WHR (waist circumference that is 70% of the hip circumference) are rated more attractive by men in various cultures. Such diverse beauty icons as Marilyn MonroeSophia LorenKim Kardashian , and theVenus de Milo all have ratios around 0.7. In other cultures, preferences vary, ranging from 0.6 in China, to 0.8 or 0.9 in parts of South America and Africa, and divergent preferences based on ethnicity, rather than nationality, have also been noted. The WHR is also shown to have a very high correlation to female fertility, thereby unknowingly guiding men’s evolutionary choices.

So there goes my diet (no, let me not lie) and trying to look like something or someone God didn’t create me to be. I might have been given Goddess status a few hundred centuries ago but then I might have smelt like a pig sty and lost my teeth. Oh well, I’m okay with my happy fat for now but I am plagued somewhat by what society determines what is Kosher and what is not… All in all, I think the group in our societies that would end up benefiting the most from this kind of celeb “blow-up” would definitely be tweenies. With all the media bombarding them  (and the rest of us) to fit in, they’ve got to know that being different isn’t always bad as long as they’re healthy. If I had a little girl, I know I would try as much as humanly possible to create a positive self-image as well as a positive relationship with food because in all honesty – as a colored person, food is part of our culture and exercising IS NOT! I’ve only ever been in love with food. Friends that claimed to be balemic were very few and when I tried to throw up, I thought: “but I liked what I ate!”. Putting down anyone that has suffered from or is still suffering with an eating disorder is not my style but an awareness that you are okay in your skin should be an all important goal.

Since I’ve found myself tipping the scale, I realized that I had to let go of defining my body as part of my personality – like I’m only sexy at a certain size while intellectually, I know that sex appeal is all about attitude. This has freed me to explore my interests candidly without having to wonder whether or not I “fit in” based on my looks. Learning how to dress this fabulous happy fat has had it’s fair amount of challenges and I may not have always done it right but it’s a work in progress, as we all are.

Never be ashamed of your curves. They make up a part of who you are and how you relate to those around you. Celebrate them. Love them and I can almost guarantee you that your partner will love YOU all the more!!!

“You don’t have to have a dancer’s body, just a body that dances” – Lynda Raino

My Guilty Pleasures

27 Jan

I can put my head on a block when I say that as a mother, I dread the rush-home-to-cook-fight-and-feed-bath-and-fight-to-sleep rigmarole but I wait with bated breath for the peace and quiet that follows and allows me to indulge in what I call my guilty pleasures…. TELEVISION in the form of DSTV channels 186, TLC, 124  VUZU and 125 E! Entertainment. I used to be a Nat Geo Wild and Animal Planet chic but not anymore. By the way, all the time-slots are calendar notifications on my phone just in case I forget…. (Lester, stop rolling your eyes!)

Let’s start with the Kardashians, anytime I can catch an episode, even a repeat (depending on the mood). They’re not famous for anything, their dad was OJ’s lawyer (hmm) and Kim made a sex-tape but otherwise being socialites is all they HAD going – but regardless of what losers people think they are, I still find myself auto-tuning to their shows to see what craziness they’ll conjure up next. Mason is so cute. Scott is an endless source of drama (he keeps things going really), Kimmy is always at some shoot, poor Khlo-Khlo is always saying the weirdest stuff and then Rob, is well… Rob (loser, living off his sisters) but let’s not leave out the matriarch/momanger, Mrs Jenner, the reason why they can all retire at 30!

Then there’s the Housewives of New York on VUZU, thursday  nights at 7:30 – boy can these girls get catty and lose their minds over the stupidest stuff. It’s like watching bi-polar, schizophrenics with a large dose of high drama. They fight about who got invited to whose party at the summer out in the Hampton’s and the difference between a cook and a chef??? I’m talking about guns come out blazing! They definitely aren’t violent but we all know that you can never take back what you say.

Pop over to Sister Wives on TLC, when they air the show. What makes one woman believe that by being joined to a man and other women, that they will achieve spiritual upliftment or enlightenment or a higher status in the after-life? I’ve been intrigued by the series because it’s about a polygamist family that’s being investigated as we speak for living a polygamist lifestyle and they really seem like pretty normal people, although I’m not sure what people are expecting to see. According to certain American laws, having more than one wife is an offense worth prosecution. The Browns want the public to be more aware of polygamist families and societal prejudices but let me go back to the beginning. The Brown family consists of the patriarch, Kody, his four wives and something like 17 kids between them. They look like a regular family if you didn’t know their lifestyle. Meri, is the first wife of 21 years and to whom Kody is legally married to and has one child with. Second wife of 16 years, Ganelle with whom Kody has six children. Then there’s Christine, third wife of 13 year with whom Kody has six kids as well and last (for now at least) is Robyn who has no kids with Cody (just yet) but has brought her three children into the Brown family from her first marriage, which was monogamous. Talk about logistics – could be the stuff nightmares are made of. A night off from hubby’s antics would be nice once in a while but how would I feel if I saw him hold wife no4 a little longer or kiss in front of me – I don’t know if my soul could handle that amount of torture or bridling.

And Buddy,the Cake Baws (that’s Boss with a New Jersey accent) from Hoboken New Jersey. Man, I love how creative and innovative he and his team are. Gotta love Italians in the kitchen, their foods and flare are so captivating but I always seem to watch the dams show when I’m hungry, or maybe I’m hungry all the damn time, who knows.

So those are the kind of things I like to do when I want to vegetate on my sofa…. Ruler of the remote… that’s me!

Baby Shower Business

7 Sep

Over the weekend, we hosted a shower for my sister-in-law. She was surrounded by family and a few friends and it kinda made me sentimental. While the guests were cooing at the clothes and adorable goodies, every new mom probably has no idea what lies ahead, as it should be in my opinion, ignorance is bliss. But is it not amazing how much stuff is out there for babies? I’m convinced that weddings and babies are the biggest money-making scams. Stores dedicate isles and isles to tons of stuff and half the time we don’t even know if we need them but we still spend our hard-earned cash just in case those “must haves” come in handy.

Other than the adorable outfits, some gifts are so great (very usable) while others are a complete waste of time! Ultimately though, it depends on the mother’s personality and situation. Take a breast pump for example, not too cheap, I loved mine because it saved my life and allowed me to breastfeed Sam whereas a friend of mine used hers maybe three times and then sold it! Nasal aspirators are the pits and the most useless piece of plastic on the market. My personal favorite item is a feeding cushion, other than the obvious, it can be used as a seat for supporting a baby who’s starting to sit or a really nice big neck pillow for lazy days. Ever heard of a  ‘Arrival & Survival Hamper’? It’s fairly self-explanatory – full of essential items that the mother needs to survive when the baby arrives.  It consists of wine, chocolates, painkillers, big panties, sanitary pads, nipple cream, new-mother vitamins (suitable for breatfeeders), hand lotion, fake tan, moisturizer and a voucher for a nail salon…. you get the idea. I’m making mental notes right now to get one for myself next time around.

Past baby shower pomp and ceremony and onto the soppy stuff, you don’t hear much encouragement going on or pearls of wisdom being passed on – and by that I don’t mean things like “sleep all you can before the baby comes, you won’t have any when he comes!” although I must admit that I found myself having to consciously hold my tongue and not project my misgivings about being a mother. But words really do fail to describe the journey a woman makes into motherhood. There’s the wonder of knowing that you have the life long privilege and greatest blessing of being someone’s mom! The sheer amazement you have when you watch how this little person grows when you consider that they actually come from inside YOUR body! Such joy when that first smile is returned. And what about how you never knew that you could love someone so much, feel so deeply like your heart could explode because it cannot contain all the love you have and still you can never get enough of them. That no matter how tired you are, you find yourself watching them sleep because they’re just too precious. And maybe for the first time in your life feel like you would die for them because no sacrifice would ever be great enough. In your heart of hearts, you know that there is nothing you wouldn’t do for them – that is unconditional love.

Motherhood is the hardest thing any woman would ever do but there’s nothing on the face of this earth that is more rewarding or that  can bring such divine purpose to your life.  So while the baby shower (for me) is a kin to the wedding before the marriage, one resounding message that I hear from other mothers is to go with your gut instincts and do what feels right. While we may be equipped with all the goodies and gadgets out there in a modern world of information and technology, no tools are more powerful, nothing but nothing beats a mother’s instincts and the It does take a village…. of women” href=”https://maidentomotherhood.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/it-does-take-a-village-of-women/”>village of women that surround her.

Besides all that, baby Ethan, your aunty can’t wait to meet you and spoil you rotten.

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